Why do you hide your feelings and how it can hurt you

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Every person has an inherent manifestation of some kind of emotion, and it doesn’t matter if they are positive or negative. They are – it is a fact. But not always people, especially men, are ready to uncover the whole range of feelings in order to demonstrate them to people around them. Of course, a cold, calculating mind, which is not eclipsed by any emotions, is one of the main male virtues. Remember that the great detective from Baker Street spoke of love: “Love is an emotion that is the opposite of pure and cold mind. It is elementary. As for me, I will never marry, so as not to lose my mental clarity. ” Still, not only because of this, men (and, probably, Mr. Holmes himself) often hide their feelings. Find out where it comes from and how it can hurt you.

Public opinion

The first and most important reason for which not only men, but in general, people push their emotions and experiences to hell. Yes, so as not to get out inadvertently. Outwardly, they may not climb, but you can be eaten from the inside. But more on that later. Ever since childhood, boys have been set to avoid their real emotions with phrases like: “don’t cry, you’re a man,” “a real man should always be strong,” “don’t be like a woman,” and the like. Therefore, most men prefer to endure their experiences in silence, believing that any manifestation of feelings – from admiring a beautiful view to embracing a helpless kitten – is the prerogative of a woman. Too strong feelings, like sympathy or love, can be considered as weakness, therefore, it is safer to hide them behind their indifference or aggression. Remember

Upbringing

It happens in life that since childhood, the future man, but for now a little boy did not receive proper care and love from his parents. But more, as a rule, from his father, who remained cold and restrained towards him, not considering it necessary to waste words on words of encouragement or compliments, since all this is womanish. Of course, he can give a good upbringing: instill a sense of responsibility, make the boy a strong leader – in short, grow a real man. True, at the exit we also get an emotional disabled person who, willy-nilly, copies his father, believing that his pattern of behavior is the only correct one. Alas, it is not always good to follow such tactics.

Fear and mystery

A man who avoids his feelings can also be guided by these things. After reading books, pickup manuals and watching movies, it seems that the only way to subdue a girl is mystery. But it should be in moderation. Without showing any emotions in relation to the object of their desire, and also rarely responding to her messages and almost offering no meetings, some people try in such a way to create an aura of mystery around themselves that should warm the interest of the girl. Of course, you can use this method, but look not overheat, and then the milk will just run away from the saucepan.

Another reason why men behave this way is banal fear. The fear that if you decide to show even a drop of feelings, then you will immediately become addicted to a woman, she will start manipulating you, destroying your authority and dignity, and after a while it will generally make you a “heel”. This opinion is the place to be, but first of all it is necessary to understand that this is possible only if you allow it yourself, failing to deliver yourself correctly. And feelings do not play as big a role as you think.

Past experience

The emotional coldness of a man can come not only from those things that we have listed. It can cause a bad experience in past relationships. Especially if the guy turned out to be abandoned, caught his girlfriend treason and the like. Usually, after such a man, they try once again not to show their feelings, thinking that if you do this, then everything will end as it once was. Such a man will need a lot of time to be able to re-discover, not only his new life partner, but also other people. Because his distrust after a major deception applies to everyone, and you can only trust yourself to your beloved.

What is dangerous to restrain their emotions?

What is an escape from your emotions? This is a mental process that anyone has ever used in their life. But none of us wondered what this would mean for our own head. The fact is that when emotions are “quenched” or are not fully experienced, half, they turn into some kind of semi-finished product. And you know that you would hardly eat a half-frozen cutlet without frying it in a frying pan. The same thing happens with our feelings. If you constantly feed the body with such half-raw food, then, naturally, it will become uncomfortable. And, like us, he also has his own defensive reactions. Only if you vomit out, then he feels sick inside. Chronic phobias, obsession, stress and depression can form from this, therefore it is better to fully experience your emotions so that such situations do not arise. In this case, you will always remain a pleasant and mentally healthy member of society. Coldness, of course, to you to face, but know the measure.

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